Hey all, I am the admin for a new service called FuckYoCouch IPTV. I know, before there are questions about what sets us apart and makes us better than the competition, I will just put it out there. Upfront honesty. Below you will find a few of the features that make us unbeatable.
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We source our own channels. What's that? HBO died on every IPTV provider (including ours) at the same time 20 minutes before Game of Thrones is about to start? Well, that's just the way the internet works. No way do we share channels with other providers. We all buy them from the same cappers, but we do not share.
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Want our channel list? ALL OF THEM! That's right. Channels that 99% of our viewers will never watch, we got em. Why? Well, no stream is as solid and buffer-free than ones that no one is watching. Want to enjoy the smooth clicking sounds of a Zulu news cast, have at it customers. All in glorious 8K/120fps. YMMV (most will actually only get 240p 12 frames per second).
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We have hourly rates as well. Want to try to saturate the streams right before a big event so that no one can watch? You asked for it, you got it. We also just randomly give out free trials right before big events, cause we're cool like that.
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Want an easy install guide? Here goes, 1. pay us 2. watch us. That's it, easy peasy.
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As a bonus feature, substitute any channel or event for HBO and Game of Thrones in point number one right before a big event. Not only do we not know how redundancy servers or load balancing work, we actually take servers offline during big events. Beat that, competition.
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And if you act now, one of our seasoned professional
spammertrollsstaff members will belittle you and make you feel like the issue is on your end. Then, for the remainder of your subscription, they will follow you through threads herespammingposting the same links and canned responses. Total coverage support. -
We will gladly give out affiliate coupons if you blast your links all over the place. 10 cents off for every 10 people that sign up using your link. You sell whatever dignity and credibility you may have in a review or general discussion and you may get the chance for a discount on service.
There you go /r/IPTV. We look forward to your fake ass reviews, let's see those affiliate links!!
DISCLAIMER None of this is really real. I forgot to give you all the url. superelitefabulousepicextremeexpressaceguys.tv
How much is a year and does your service carry the channels that I can use to watch the Kenyan 3rd division chessboxing tournament