If I understand correctly, Emby (the media center software) can take .m3u playlists (channel lists) and turn them into a searchable guide with DVR capability. And I know that, in theory, you can setup Emby on a VPS (which would, I think, help avoid throttling and eliminate the need for a VPN).
But I'm tech challenged and my efforts to make something like this happen failed miserably (I tried with a couple of free trials).
Is there a guide or are any of you cord cutting/streaming geniuses interesting in making one for us newbs?
What's your level of Linux competency? If you know Linux basics, then I'd just install Emby in Docker: https://emby.media/docker-server.html
My home Emby installation runs using their Docker container and has been flawless for both local and remote access scenarios. I also use it to remotely access IPTV, which is what you describe wanting to do as well.
Can I ask your use case for wanting to do this on a VPS versus your home computer? Have you taken into account storage space and bandwidth requirements to do this? Most VPS providers, unless you're willing to foot a big bill, aren't designed with media streaming applications in mind. You'll chew through bandwidth quite fast if you're using it a lot, and depending on whether you transcode, want to DVR, or plan on keeping local media files on the server too or not, you may also need quite large storage requirements.